YOLO!  You only live once!  Nothing lasts forever. So live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, party hard, avoid the drama, take chances, live for the moment and never have regrets, because at one point everything you did was exactly what you wanted… this quotation, attributed by some to Marilyn Monroe, is the mantra of advice given to young people.

But, does it answer the vacuum that exists in most of our hearts?

Freud, Adler and Frankl

Sigmund Freud said that the number one drive in humanity is the will to pleasure.  He claims that the vacuum inside of people only exists because they withhold certain pleasures from themselves.  His claim is that the Judeo Christian worldview restricts people from this primary drive, and thus, they live unfulfilled lives.  Fulfillment will only come when we give ourselves to every pleasure we can imagine!  It is only in the surrender to pleasure that we find our true selves.

Alfred Adler on the other hand says that humanity is driven by the will to power, and that our neurosis and psychosis exist because we need to be free to be ourselves and to make our own decisions in every circumstance.  We must dominate, or we will never be fulfilled.  Fulfillment will only come when we live as we wish; by our own credo and our own rules; deciding for ourselves what is right and what is wrong!  We find our true selves, when we live as we choose!

Viktor Frankl, a survivor of Auchwitz, considered both these strands of psychology and used his prisoner of war camp experience as a test case.  Everyone was stripped naked, yet pleasure was furthest from their minds.  Power was only demonstrated by the prison guards over prisoners, and the prisoners bound together to survive.  There was neither the will to pleasure, nor the will to power!

Frankl determined that both Freud and Adler were found to answer the HOW question of life, and it proved insufficient in the prison camps.

Frankl developed his logotherapy in this moment, the will to meaning.  He proposed that when man found the WHY for living, he could endure any HOW.

John Maxwell says that Purpose puts steel in the backbone of discipline.  You are able to endure the tough disciplines it takes to succeed in life when you know why you are doing it.  It is only with a clear vision, and a clear hope for the future, that you will put in the effort and discipline yourself in education, art, sport, relationships and vocation.

You must have the end in sight, then you will be able to live with discipline!

When you answer the WHY question of life, you will better answer the HOW!

For the last two years, I have traveled along an intentional path of personal growth because I felt limited in life to a point where I could only get so far with my goals and yearned to figure out why. We all have with us different size dream bags that contain the currency of our desires, our values, and our visions. Some of us have really allowed ourselves to fill our bags to the brim and others can fit theirs in their pocket. When it feels like we are not able to spend our currency and realize those dreams even the smallest ones, it causes a feeling of burden and an inability to really take off. Often times we blame the circumstances of life for keeping us down–it must be the weather that has us grounded. This reasoning often falters when we find out people who had it the same or worse seem to be flying all over the place and even doing tricks in the air. So who or what is to blame? The answer is you, you are your wall, you are the barrier, you are the closed door. I say this not so that you beat up or mistreat yourself, but so that you focus your energy and efforts in the right direction.

With the knowledge that I was my greatest limitation, I begin to search for and try as many tools and obtain as much wisdom from successful individuals transversing a similar flight path as mine. Even though the methods and resources may be different for each of us as we work on ourselves and work out our limitations, there are common themes and principles that should be a part of that journey:

Recognize that you don’t know you. There is not one human being on this earth that knows the fullness of who they are. By the time we reach adulthood, we are defined more by others than anything. It is important to test and push against labels and categories that are placed upon us by family, society, church, school, work, or ourselves. We are not what we do. We do based on who we are. The potential for what you can do is infinite. It does not mean that you can do everything. The challenge I give you is to go out and have fun finding out what you can do instead of focusing on what you can’t do. Don’t be afraid to fail because each time you try anything in life, you discover something about who you truly are.
Dream as if you had unlimited resources–a blank check or a trillion dollar bank account. Dreams were never intended to be equal to our present. Dreams are another world, another dimension. Dreams are our juice to keep us going and allow us the force of will to go high and stay high. Several years back, I worked for a public health program for adolescents in a rural community. There were high teen pregnancy rates and a cycle of poverty. We often used a quote from Marian Wright Edelman, an advocate for children’s rights, that said “Hope is the best contraceptive.” To hope is to dream. The more you allow yourself to hope and to dream, the decisions you make will support and align with those hopes and dreams. Be sure to write them down in detail and keep them before your eyes.
Your enemies are fear and doubt. Other people are not your enemies, because they are trying to live this life just like you. You will have adversity, challenges, and tons of problems come into your life as long as you breathe. How you handle fear and doubt will determine your fate and will determine how rich your life is. If you want to achieve victory, acknowledge and get to know your fears and doubts. Know when and where they pop up and work to understand why they do. If you try to ignore them or dismiss them, you are giving them the go ahead to wreck havoc in your life. You diminish their power when you look them dead in the face and tell them you see them. This is where counseling can provide a great resource in helping you see and conquer your true enemies. This fight is not just one battle but a lifetime war. It is okay and don’t be discouraged because you will be reaping so much glory and reward along the way and you will never be fighting alone.

A wise woman told me that we have our dreams and desires for a reason. If they were not possible, we would not have them. Take the reigns off and fly.